Thursday, January 31, 2013

AJ's 2nd Birthday in Heaven.....

     I never really know how to express how I feel about our sons birthday, except that it is a hard day for me. I had to write an eassay about something that I couldnt live without. One thing came to mind....the hand and foot molds that were made of AJ after he had passed away
                                                                 The Imprints
     To have a memory is to remember something that made an imprint.  Many items in an individual’s life become important for different reasons.  When an item is important enough to an individual, you see it as invaluable.  This item is thought of often and remembered with stirred emotion.  In my bedroom sits a box of tender memories.  It stirs emotions to the core of a mother or fathers heart.  This Box holds tender memories of a life spent short with a big eternal imprint on those around close by.  These imprints and memories leave wonder triggered by love.  Love, is that only a parent feels and bonds with a child instantly.  This imprint is made through touch of a simple hand or finger.   To hold a child’s hand is such a basic example of Love between a child and parent.
     This blue box that sits in my bedroom, holds just that a child’s imprint. In the box it includes a small locket of hair, imprints/molds of a hand and foot and a last outfit worn by a little boy.  The box was decorated with loving care with the purpose to hold a precious tangible memory.  To touch and hold this mold/imprint of a child brings back a flood of memories and wonder.  These imprints are that of a little boy that brought joy and love.  A little boy imprints left behind to remind a family of the details in life.  The little imprints have details that show what he would have been.  The details of the shape of a finger or nail bed are that of his fathers.  The shape of a hand that mimics and flows of that of a father shows a future of physical strength mortally and heavenly.  To look and hold this little imprint shows the connection of a parent and child.  The imprints are the last tangible shape of a little boy gone to soon.   The white shapes are perfect imprints of a little hand and foot.  The detail of the curves and shape trigger the memory of the simple experience of the love of touch. 
     To protect and keep these imprints safe have a work that goes beyond keeping the molds safe.  Materially, these molds are kept safe by loving parents to carry memories that are frozen in time.  An angel boy keeps a watchful hand and eye on a loving family left behind.  Little molds are small and cared for by those that hold on.  But, not far away a strong angel boy lends a hand to his family to find joy and guide them.   A child’s hand intertwined with a parent is a bond that is never broken.  This bond is built on different levels.   So often a tear falls on these molds wishing that they would become warm to the touch and be the real imprint of touch.  Touch of an angel is felt in moments to reassure that the touch of an imprint is felt on different levels.
     When a mother or father looks upon these imprints it brings a flood of thoughts of wonder.  These thoughts of wonder are of the future of what if.  For a brief time these hands held a piece of a blanket, reached for a toy, held another’s finger and would grasp at a small toy. Would have these hand imprints hold a ball, a car, build something or make a mess. Would they have carried a siblings hand, a snake or a mud pie?  Would have a little boys hands thrown a ball around with his future little brother? Now the little hands carry his family until they can touch again.
     Small imprints are different to many. These small imprints have made a greater imprint on the world left behind.  Too hold an imprint or hand mold is a reminder of how sweet a child is. The details of what could be and wonder of what could have been drive the imagination to answers.  A mother or father will always long for the warm touch of a little boy.  In brief moments a little angel reminds a family to look for joy and the simple effects that little hands can do.

      Dear AJ,
     Happy Birthday in Heaven our little boy... I hope you and your little brother are playing. I hope he brings a litle part of you to earth when he comes in May!!! Love and miss you beyond words little boy!!

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