I try so hard to put away my grieving mom emotions....
The holidays came and went with lots of distractions of icky sickies. I even was so sick the week of Christmas. Alright ... the whole family was sick!!! not the best Christmas but we were together. Paul and I feel some guilt that we never made it out to the cemetery to honor AJ through the holidays. AJ was never far from our thoughts tho. As January creeps up and throws so many moments that we should be reaching and celebrating in AJ's life become hard. In Primary at church (our children's program at church) children advance in classes for the new year. AJ would be entering and having his first day in sunbeams. I would love to hear him singing the traditional primary song "Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam" and coming home with what he colored in class!!!
AJ our little sunbeam watching us from Heaven. Someday we will see you again!!!
January is a hard emotional month for me... I remember 4 years ago feeling so happy leading up to AJ's birth. He was such an anticipation of JOY to our family! January has been changed since he passed away. Another birthday is coming... milestones that are missed have created such a void. Watching so many kids his age growing and reaching these milestones is hard.
I know I am not alone in this, so many other grieving parents feel the same way.
Oh January, swiftly finish up and warm up our hearts.