Thursday, January 22, 2015

Empty Arms

I wrote this sometime ago.... I wanted to share these brief words that I jotted down. Maybe a post, a phrase, a sentence might help another mother or another lost in grief know they are not alone.

  I often remember back to the hours, days, weeks and months after AJ passed away regarding the raw emotions of such deep pain of child loss.... I remember how empty, light and cold my arms felt.  This emptiness was traumatically instant. I went from weighted down arms full of warmth to brutal emptiness of nothing.  The phrase "empty arms " is often used after infant/child loss. This phrase is true in the term of the emptiness, but the emptiness goes far deeper then a mother or fathers arms being empty. The emptiness is in our heart and in our daily lives is another form of the emptiness.  Spiritually I have had to choose to fill the emptiness over time.
      My/our new life includes grief and finding joy to fill our heart. Grief and emptiness has not gone away, it is evolving on our road.

      Holding Colt I have heavy, tired and warm arms again.... I love the warmth Colt brings. I never take Colt being in my arms for granted... he his a gift.


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