I often remember back to the hours, days, weeks and months after AJ passed away regarding the raw emotions of such deep pain of child loss.... I remember how empty, light and cold my arms felt. This emptiness was traumatically instant. I went from weighted down arms full of warmth to brutal emptiness of nothing. The phrase "empty arms " is often used after infant/child loss. This phrase is true in the term of the emptiness, but the emptiness goes far deeper then a mother or fathers arms being empty. The emptiness is in our heart and in our daily lives is another form of the emptiness. Spiritually I have had to choose to fill the emptiness over time.
My/our new life includes grief and finding joy to fill our heart. Grief and emptiness has not gone away, it is evolving on our road.
Holding Colt I have heavy, tired and warm arms again.... I love the warmth Colt brings. I never take Colt being in my arms for granted... he his a gift.