I'm not in my 20'sanymore, okay that is far gone now. I'm not in my 30's either anymore, and those yearsslipped away. I guess I am now to say "HELLO" to the 40's!!!!
Here comes the bomb!!!
I don't mind other people's birthday's. I LOVE to celebrate my children's birthdays, but not my own. Does any one else feel the same way???? The more I get told Happy Birthday the more my eyes well up and fill with tears. I wish I could find the JOY in my own birthday. I have noticed this to get worse over the years. NOT sure what happened. Did I create over some years unmet expectations, Did I feel I got forgotten, Did the meaning of birthdays change for me and bring heartache after AJ died..... I honestly don't know what happened to me? In my own confusion of sorting this out, I have 2 ways to handle or except September 28 every year..... 1. Wish the day could be skipped or 2. Celebrate the day with confidence and joy with friends and family. I hope that I can learn to embrace option 2. I feel bad that my children watch me not enjoy this day that I truley wish and want to enjoy. Let's give it another try, tommorow I can try. I have 8 min left to be 39!!!!!!!