Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Social conversations....To open a Can of Worms or Not...

       In society we have question of social interaction that are just normal conversation starters.  We meet strangers in our jobs, standing in line at store and meeting up with old friends.... Some questions are quick to answer then become a thought out process.......Certain questions effect you differently after life changing events happen....

              What would be a normal social interaction question?
  • What do you do for a living?
  • How many children do you have
  • How are you ?
  • Are you married?
  • Where do your kids go to school?
  • Enjoying the weather today?
  • What kind of pet do you have?
      In my job, I meet total strangers every day that we make conversation to pass time and to show kindness to one another.  It is in my personality and my genetic make up to be outgoing and friendly to strangers. My kids always get embarrassed when I talk to random people at the store. 
      The question that has become a planned out, thought out process and picking and choosing whom to say what to is.....  How many children do you have? I have heard many grieving parents regard this as a tough one!!!!
      Here are my varied answers  .......
  1. I have 4 beautiful daughters, that keep me very busy. (I use this response when I am protecting myself for the moment, sometimes I don't want to open a can of worms)
  2. I have 4 daughters and a angel son. ( I use this when I feel it is ok. Most times I feel it is an inspired moment to share)
  3. I have 5 kids. ( just a generic answer)
             What ever my response is my Angel AJ knows I love him and his sisters all the same!!!

Depending on my answer I get several responses....
  1. Wow, only daughters!! No Boys??... I really hate this response!!!  Then I say; I do have a son. He passed away. (Can of worms still opened) Then I get the sad look...
  2. I either get an inspired moment that is shared between people and the bonus is that AJ is always there in my moments or... I get the sorrowful look of sadness that I comfort them.
  3. Conversation continues and moves on...
As I have talked and listened to other grieving parents... It sounds like my responses may be about the same..... For those of you, who by chance talk to a grieving parent and ask that hard question.  Admire their response and recognize their ANGEL child!!!!
                                If you are a grieving parent what responses do you have?
                                 What are your difficult questions regarding your Angel?

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