I went back to work since having Colt. He was 9weeks old at the time I went back. Going back to work always was a nerve racking step after having a baby. This is another step in our journey since loosing AJ and having Colt. There are so many steps that we/I have had to take the last few years. I wonder sometimes where these steps are getting us.... these steps are teaching me\us in ways I never expected.
Remembering back to the worst days of my life when AJ passed away, I had a moment come back to me while I was driving to work. I remembered back to an instant that I was yelling out in pain and anguish that I would never take another infant to daycare. Many people and family were in my home at that time and heard my anguish and fear. In my plea and tears it became focused upon my parents to provide an answer or make me feel safe in my future. At that time my parents made a promise to my plea. As parents we always want to help our children and ease their pain. I could see my parents were grieving the loss of their grandson but also were saddened by my grieving heart. The last 2 plus years my parents have been there and supported me when they could.
Little precious baby Colt at this time does not attend daycare at this time thanks to his Gamma and Papa Hurd (my Parents)...
My parents retired nearby and have fofilled a promise that just over 2 years ago my anguished heart expressed a need for. I hope my parents enjoy Colts smiles, his sweet spirit and AJ close by watching over his little brother Colt. Thank you, Mom for the first morning of reassurance, of when you asked where the monitor was. I need to hear that you were just as committed to watch over Colt. No gratitude will ever show enough appreciation for how fortunate I am to have the parents I have. Thank you, Mom and Dad for setting my mind and heart at easy. Love you