Sunday, August 11, 2013

2 months 27 days old

     We/I are reaching another milestone..... Colt will be 2 months 27 days old tomorrow. This might not seem to be much to some parents, us it is an age frozen in time.  AJ passed away on April 27,2011 he was 2months 27 days old.

The "what if".....  I would of known AJ was to leave at 2 months 27 days 
              I would of cuddled with him more                                                          
              Watched every movement he made
              Took more pictures
              Smelled and kissed his sweet head more much more I dream I would of done if I had known a count down.

The other day I was sitting at work with an overwhelming feeling of missing both my boys while I was at work. This heart ache was so strong I had tears sitting at my desk.  I had a hard time figuring out who I was missing more at the moment AJ or Colt.  I knew in just a few hours I would be home with Colt.... and that I could only long to have heavenly moments of AJ in my heart and soul.  Nothing Changes how my heart and soul aches to hold our AJ again.

Now in my head I have imagined a count down till tomorrow, We have made so many memories with Colt already!! Reaching tomorrow brings on a new thought process.

It is a normal thought process to compare siblings and their development and growth.  We/I have been able to compare 2 brothers until now. Now we no longer can compare Colt to AJ.  We will now see Colt have his own future without comparing. 

We/I now will watch Colt in awe and wonder of what Colt and AJ would of done and how 2 brother could of been on earth.  Past this milestone of 2 months 27 days will be a reminder to us what we missed with AJ on earth... But the future is wide open for Colt and all of us now on earth and heaven as an eternal family.

It has been hard to sort through these emotions.  I was hoping by writing them down would help me sort through this milestone of 2 months 27 days. 

                   Oh how we/I love these 2 special boys!!!
                            We have the top figurine of the 2 brothers. Someday I hope to find this one.

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