My Beautiful Heartbreak

   We all suffer hardship/heartaches of some kind or other.  When AJ passed away I had NEVER felt such hear ache.  I learned very quickly that my sorrow could consume my minutes...hours....days...I remember seeing babies after AJ passed and being so jealous, angry, sad and confused of "why me/us".  My thoughts would fester on what AJ should of been doing. It became my choice to allow myself to fall into the pits of wallowing in my heartache.  I had days that I let my heart ache eat at my very soul.  I would think constantly of AJ and my personal heartache of pain.  It took distractions, love and finding Joy in life again that helped me see the road I was placed on.  This road has become my/our personal experience.  I had to learn to embrace my heartache. My heartache, just like anyone's is a personal experience.
    Learning to see that my road is different yet the same to many, it is my personal road... MY EXPERIENCES.... MY HEARTBREAK.... MORE THAN THAT MY BEAUTIFUL HEARTBREAK!!!!
  My heartache is beautiful in many ways.... The beauty is brought and manifested through AJ and also Christ's Atonement.

Soon after AJ passed I heard a song Beautiful Heartbreak, By Hillary Weeks. This song hit it right on how I was wanting to feel.  This song helped me to see how beautiful each and every heartache is that we face. BUT!!!! it is our personal choice to push through to find the joy in the heartache.
Thank you for such a  Beautiful song!!

I know... I am not the same person before AJ...I am a different and hopefully changed for the better due to my BEAUTIFUL HEARTBREAK.

Lyrics to Beautiful Heartbreak:         

I had it all mapped out in front of me,
Knew just where I wanted to go;
But life decided to change my plans,
And I found a mountain in the middle of my road.

I knew there was no way over it,
So I searched for a way around;
Brokenhearted I started climbin',
And at the top I found...

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights;

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I never dreamed my heart would make it,
I thought about turning around;
But heaven has shown me miracles,
I never would have seen from the ground.

Now I take the rain with the sunshine,
Cause there's one thing that I know;
He picks up the pieces,
Along each broken road.

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.