But as we realize another year gone by. Years are marked by many as the New Year on January 1st, a birthday or a major event that is life alternating.
This year and every year moving forward since April 27, 2011 our marking event we have reached is 9 yrs since our sweet baby boy AJ was in our arms. I warn and admit freely to many I have moments of heartache from his Birthday on January 31 till his Angel Day on April 27..... this season is coming to a close and I can feel a little freedom from my stitched broken heart to move on with the year. It becomes a little brighter in my heart.
As it hits this year due to a lot of isolation due to Covid-19 virus concerns. I have felt a bit more alone in my grief and stressed due to day to day changes. Over the years we have tried to find ways to share our love for AJ, but I often left myself open for disappointment with lack of support diminishing over the years. As years pass we have found ways to celebrate and speak his name together as a family. I cherish the quiet Heavenly moments that whisper to me that we are not alone in this. I know we have our own personal angel that watches over our whole family. As years pass I wonder if I am doing the right or wrong thing when we remember our sweet baby gone too soon. This year we plan to be together as a family at home ... go to cemetery.... just move through the day of emotions that remind me of the worst day of my life as a mother that followed the most heart wrenching moments for a long time.
I know in this Journey of Grief, Joy cometh in the morning, as a wake in the morning I can feel the warmth of the sun and choose to find Joy every day.
I will choose to find beautiful Joyful flowers tomorrow and maybe into the next day
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| Our AJ Memory Place |
This might have been short, Sometimes hard to find the words and easier to share a little bit of my mama heart 💓
